Make Buses Sexy

Public transit has taken a hit from Covid19, at least in the U.S in terms of reputation, even though it’s not one of the most likely places for a super spreading event to occur, as people are only on the bus/train for a short period of time. We’re not even out of the first wave yet, much less the second wave, but this will pass, although the deaths to come will be catastrophic beyond belief. When it does pass, we have to invest in and ride public transit more than ever, otherwise usage of cars will make climate change worse, thus ensuring an even worse pandemic to come sooner rather than later. Public transit in the U.S is often associated with minorities, the poor, and the working class. The middle class loves their suburbs and their cars.

Buses in the U.S don’t have right of way like trains do. They for the most part don’t get their own dedicated lanes, thus they get stuck in traffic causing them to be slow. We must in a post pandemic society make literally every last god damn bus route BRT to the highest standard. Take lanes away from the cars and give them exclusively to the buses. Build and buy new buses, articulated, double talls, and bi-articulated. Run them every minute to maximize route capacity. Make the buses free to ride, permanently.

Most importantly though, we need a bus propaganda campaign, to make buses seem cool and downright sexy. Make buses sexy. That’s right. All the young handsome fellas who take the bus should take selfies at bus yards and bus stations. Take your shirt off and show your abs next to a bus. Get the bus driver to join your selfie. Strike poses. Same goes for all the women. When you go to the beach with your girlfriends, take bikini selfies next to a bus. If you see a bus driver, get them to join in the picture, because all bus drivers are pure sexy. Bus drivers are heroes. When you board a bus, tell the driver they are your hero.

We need to have social media hashtags for our bus selfies. I’m just thinking out loud here, but for the men we could use #FellasOnTheBus and for the women we could use #CutiesOnTheBus and then on top of that, everyone use #SexyBus or something like that. Also, I know this sounds really silly and stupid, but we have to set high societal standards for each other. Most everyone loves sex, I think, right? Anyways, if you have a romantic partner, get them to take the bus. So like, for the women who are with men, if you want to ride the D, you have to ride the B, #RideTheB2RideTheD. For the men who are with women, if you want some pussy as the saying goes, you have to get some bus. No bus, no pussy. Of course there should be positive encouragement too, so like in a Lesbian couple, if your partner takes the bus, you reward her by eating her out. Apply this to other LGBTQ relationships as well. Hold each other to high standards, make your loved ones take the bus, and the train too, but especially the bus. Buses can be cool and sexy, if we make riding them the cool and sexy thing to do.

Cars and freeways are ugly, buses and trains are cool and sexy.

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