In the past, for self harming I would sometimes water board myself instead of cutting. Unlike cutting, it doesn’t leave behind any visual signs so nobody would ever notice. It’s harder though because I could only do it in my college room, laying down in the shower area. Had to fill up bottles of water and yea. It’s not something where if I needed to quiet my thoughts at school I could go into a bathroom and water board myself, like I could with cutting. Water boarding didn’t create the physical pain of cutting, although it was far more emotional/spiritual/psychological, just because it’s like, how broken you have to be to lock yourself in a bathroom and water board yourself and yea. To torture yourself the way the CIA did it.
Anyways, since the CIA is probably going to be led by a person who ran the torture program (Gina Haspel) I suspect torture is going to be brought back, officially. It never truly went away, it just stopped operating out in the open. Anyways, if the CIA is going to have torture as its official policy again, I say… torture me. I’ve done it to myself so do me. I volunteer to take the place of every person they plan to water board. If they want to inflict pain, inflict pain on me. Try to drown me. Carry out your sadistic fantasies on me. I can handle it. The only person who can break me is me. However many hundreds or thousands of people they plan to torture, put that on me. All the hatred you have for Muslims and blacks and Africans and Latin Americans and Chinese and the indigenous and so on, put it on me. Give me your hate. Hate me. Torture me. Only me. Let everyone else be free and happy.