This post won’t be long, but I sometimes I just really hate myself. In 2008, my mom was the biggest Hillary Clinton fan on the planet. My mom was a Washington delegate for her. She took me to a caucus location at my old elementary school in Bellevue, even though at the time I loved Obama and wanted her to caucus for Obama. None the less, she caucused for Hillary because Hillary was her girl. She was still a huge Hillary fan when Bernie entered the race this election. My family is always politically engaged. I’ve learned a lot since 2008, especially since going to college. On both my dad’s side and mom’s side of the family now, I’m regarded as the most knowledgeable person when it comes to politics, human rights, social movements, war, the environment and just pretty much everything. So my mom asked for my opinion on all the candidates early in the primaries, and I told her what I thought. Ever since then, my mom isn’t a fan of Hillary Clinton. But now, she doesn’t even want to vote. Not even for Jill, because she doesn’t really like Jill Stein either. I mean, it’s nice that my mom listens to me and values my opinion on things, but I just.. she used to love Hillary Clinton, and now she doesn’t, because of me. I made her go from being excited about the election and nominating Hillary, to not wanting to vote. I should be happy, because I don’t really like Hillary, so I should feel proud of having changed my mom’s view of her, but I’m not. I hate myself, because I took away her excitement. I wish I would’ve just told her to vote for who she likes the most, because I wish she’d still vote for Hillary, even though I don’t like her. I can’t change her mind back though, and I hate that. I just think to myself, what have I done? My dad is still voting for Hillary, and so are many of my aunts and uncles and cousins and my best friends, but I feel awful that my mom isn’t anymore, because of me. Sometimes I wish my mom could meet my far away friend Maddi, because she’s super excited for Hillary and would easily talk my mom back into loving Hillary. My mom would go to Hillary’s inauguration if she still loved Hillary, and that’d be really cool to hear about and see those pictures, but I’ve ruined that for her. I just kind of hate myself for that.